I wanted to take a moment to step away from my usual conversation about getting over my relationship issues and mental torture that they brought to talk about something near and dear to my heart. My good friend, brother, and fellow soldier is about to have a baby. Now when I say, he is about to have a baby, it doesn’t mean in a week or two but in this upcoming year. I bring this up because I just have a respect for everything that he has been through and the significants of this event in his life. I turned my thoughts to my own life path and how I am a 31 year old man, with no kids, degree and a healthy work ethic. Yet I also have one marriage that ended in divorce and another that is probably in the rockiest roads that I have ever had in my entire life. So in the end I envy my friend. He not only came through the dark times, while serving his country even faithfully doing so to this day, he actually found someone who loves him for him. She may dislike his love for video games but he knows that he has to compromise and thats exactly what he has done.
Now back to the topic at hand, the miracle that they are about to have is something I take very sacred, like marriage but something a lot more serious. Bringing a brand new person into this world. A world that is shaken by war, and who seem to have forgot what it means to be in love, respect and adore music. A world that still believes that color should dictate your status or your sex puts you in specific roles and jobs. A world that has been through so much and will continue to spin regardless of what the inhabitants put it through. It is a scary yet wonderful thought. One that I hoped to have experienced by now but I haven’t been so lucky. First marry someone who lost her marbles and now marrying someone else who doesn’t believe they have the patience to be a parent, I just find myself longing for what my friend has. I listen to them, and he sends me the pictures of the ultrasound and I just smile every time I see it. A giant unclear blurry white stain on a all black backdrop, makes so much joy activate in my head, it is a mystery.
Having the chance to be a parent, something not everyone in this lifetime will have the blessing of being, is something I desperately yearn for. Not to say I would just go and in pregnant just about anyone willing to let me. I want to make a beautiful baby boy or girl with the secret formula of love, trust, and friendship. Having those ingredients would be everything that I desire. Of course, any sex you have nowadays means theres a chance to make a child, but like I said, everything happens for a reason. There has to be a reason I don’t have a child yet. Maybe it’s my lack of maturity. Or could it be that I wasn’t ever with the right one at that time. I know when my time comes it will be beautiful. I just hope it is before my grandparents pass. I don’t want them to go without seeing my offspring and I don’t want my kids to go without ever meeting great grandma and grandpa. Sign that is a thought that scares me deeply.
Either way, this miracle my friend is about to have is a blessing and I hope he knows just how lucky and special he is to have something like this happen to him.