In my mind, this is what I believe happened.

Everything started off normal. She woke up and sent me the usual text with, “Morning sheep sheep” in it and I replied as usual. She prepared for her day, did her hygiene and made her way to whatever class or task she had to do in Atlanta. Class was going very boring, even giving her enough time to sneak in a photo to me showing just how bland everything was going. Not sure if I was in bed by this time or not so I will assume I was still awake and replied.

Afternoon rolls around and she runs into this employee she had worked with when she was working in Atlanta. The only information I have is that he is a African American gentlemen and he must have commented on the fact that she was married because she did tell me that he knew that she was married. He looked at her, probably the same way most men do. Attracted by her success and confidence and intrigued to know more.

Fast forward to after all the class stuff was done. He continued to spark a conversation with my wife and more than likely suggested going out to grab a bit to eat. In my head this is an instant “No” but it was an old coworker who she obviously felt comfortable around so they more than likely meant to go do that. She says, I will go change and I’ll meet you at your room. As she changed and got to his room, he let her in and probably started talking more about work. They laughed over some of the conversation, reminiscing on the past work, and the stuff they had dealt with when his laugher became silence with intent. He leaned over and planted a kiss onto my wife and shocked they sat there on the bed, noses barely touching. The room now completely deafened, they both embrace on another again. Both active parties lips collided in a passionate embrace and as the weight of their actions intensified, they fell over and was now lying on the bed, lips locked and hearts pounding.

He pulled her closely while she reached for his belt, unfastening it and unsnapping the button as well. He took these actions as acceptance and begin to pull her pants right off her, putting all his weight on top of her as she opened her legs. His pants hit the floor, and her panties are forcefully moved to the side, as he pulls his dick out and slides inside her. She exhales, and then grabs him tightly as he moves his hips up and down, penetrating my wife. Each thrust places him once step closer to what he wanted, and she laid there, helpless to stop him because deep down she wanted this as well. He stroke, kissed, stroked until he came inside her. They laid in silent and he smiled at his accomplishment while she laid there in horror. What had she done? She not only had sex with someone other than her husband, she had unprotected sex with him. As he pulled his now flaccid penis out of her, and went to talk, she stopped him and made her way to her clothes and to the bathroom. She cleaned up the guilt and ran out the room, forgetting all about the dinner plans that they made. She got back to her room and instantly thought of what happened. Why? She thought. Why?

Her mind was clouded with confusion and then she seeked justification. In her mind she thought well, he made his mistake before, so this was justified. She deserved to have a one-time thing too. Heck, she further pressed that notion when she finally accepted that yeah it was fucked up but justified. Then she realized something. Just how naïve I am. How would I find out? Unless she told me, or he told me, I would never find out. So she laid back in bed, and thought to herself, I just won’t tell him any of it. What he knows won’t hurt him. The same thing that went through the mind of the man who participated in the act of betrayal with her.

Months went by. The next month she came down to see me, and she never batted her eye twice. Everything was like nothing happened at all. We smile, laughed, toured Europe, made love and I even had the chance to introduce my wife to my coworkers. Fast forward a few more months, and we linked up again in Iceland for a romantic road trip, touring and even a sensual heated pool experience, yet nothing was brought up. To me, I finished this year with a bang in my marriage but in reality, she let me believe that we had perfection. Then I returned to my location and one thing led to another and I realized I needed to ask her a question. I knew the answer. I knew she would have never cheated, so I asked her.

“Yes, once” was the answer I received. My heart dropped out of my chest and I felt physically ill. The next thing out of my mouth was when, and she told me. Not even a full month after I had left her. I have been in a deep depression of disbelief since then. My very soul shaken by this information and I have been doing my best to not give up on my marriage.

Even though I don’t know exactly what happened, this is what plays in my mind every day. What am I to do?

 

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